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My family

Embrace Today By: K. Wilhelmina Floria

Tears of happiness shall fall,
listen close for your destination call.

A river of tranquility flows through life.

Ride out the eye of the storm, pass the strife.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

My life the vacum

I use to have a life.  I had friends that use to call. We would make plans to hang out. One friend was always going back and forth to the doctors.  She would call and tell me all the things that were wrong with her.  She would tell me about her job, her boyfriends, kids and she never heard anything I said.  But I knew she was a friend now, that I'm sick she doesn't call and her number has changed.  I told her daughter to tell her to call.  That was in the beginning of the summer and I still haven't heard from her.  I have an old friend, we call each other at least once a month.  I have another friend who calls and keeps in touch with me on FB. She supports me, she's there for me when I need someone, and she's making plans to spend time with me in December. She lives in another state.  I'm looking forward to it and hope I don't be disappointed. I'm home all the time.  I don't go anywhere, except to the doctor and maybe shopping.  I was looking so forward to going out to lunch with my mate and her friend last week.  But that didn't happen and it won't happen.  I feel like a prisoner.  I spoke to one of my daughters the other night and she said she had nothing to talk about.  No one has time for me.  Being sick steals your life and gives you nothing. I try to stay busy, writing this blog, where I seem to do nothing but cry all the time.  I crochet, work on my family newsletter, create cards.  I want to work on my novel but my concentration is for naught, I want to write a poems, but I don't have the skills anymore.  There's hardly ever anything good on TV.  I can't sleep. Here I go again, my life's a vacum, it sucks.  I need some positive energy to zap my ass with a current of enthusiasm.  Maybe I should take the cymbalta.

I smile when I write about the memories of the past.  I cried then during the hard times, but today they were the good old days. Will I get past this sad lonely time.  Does anyone care? Should I give a damn if they do or don't?

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Embrace today.