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My family

Embrace Today By: K. Wilhelmina Floria

Tears of happiness shall fall,
listen close for your destination call.

A river of tranquility flows through life.

Ride out the eye of the storm, pass the strife.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

My 2Cents Not Worth A Penny: Why are you special?

My 2Cents Not Worth A Penny: Why are you special?: "There’s this joke, you’re so special, both your parents must have been retarded. Have you wonder what makes you special? Do you think you..."

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Me Verse Lupus: My Thanksgivings

Me Verse Lupus: My Thanksgivings: "I'm feeling pretty good. Still watching what I'm eating. I had cereal this morning, my favorite Kashi Go Lean Shredded Wheat with the Almo..."

My Thanksgivings

I'm feeling pretty good.  Still watching what I'm eating.  I had cereal this morning, my favorite Kashi Go Lean Shredded Wheat with the Almond Breeze milk. Can't wait for breakfast tomorrow.  Today my mate and I got up to walk with her friend, this was at 5 am.  Instead of the walk we ended up going to Path mark, I didn't use the scooter in the store as I always do.  My back was in pain, but I sucked it up and handled it.  Breathing was fine though.  When we got home that's when I had my cereal, and we went back to bed.  I took a nap, I've been napping all week.  I juiced some spinach, carrots and apples. Later my mate made me a lamb chop and warmed some cooked spinach. Now I'm eating some lightly salted chips. Later I will have some frozen grapes and maybe a pear or tangerine. I'm losing, can't really see it on the scale but I feel it.  My panties are loose and my tee shirts are hanging different.  My face looks thinner, but I discovered that when I Nair the hair off my face it looks chubbier. Another side affect of the steroids is your hair grows all over your face.

This is the first year in many years that I'm not cooking.  My oldest daughter is cooking, and she told me to come tomorrow and by the time I get there she should almost be done.  I told Access-A-Ride that I needed to be there by 11 am. I don't know if I'll be back Friday night or Saturday morning.

I wrote an article for my new blog, there's a link to it but in case you didn't see it here's one I want to get feedback on this one.  I hope is inspires feedback.

The last Thanksgiving before my mother died was at my sisters house in Jersey. All of us got together, My brothers' family and mine. We had a great time, my sister and her husband did most of the cooking. We tried to rent a video camera but they were all rented, but we did take pictures and all my mothers grandchildren took a picture with my moms.

My first Thanksgiving without her was with Mr. 23 years, his cousin, mother and his cousins' girlfriend who became a good friends of mine, even after she broke up with the cousin, of course my children and the cousin girlfriend's children.  I did all the cooking, I cooked the traditional meal that my family cooked.  Turkey, roast beef, (my family would cook ham, but we didn't eat pork so hense the roast). Mac and cheese of course, candy yams, sweet potato yams, stuffing, corn pudding, coleslaw, whole cranberries mixed with pineapples, mash potatoes, string beans, corn, (my family made turnips, mushrooms, and pearl onion but I don't care for them.) I made sweet potato pies and an apple pie.  I made a cake but back then I didn't put enough butter in the mix and they would come out hard, so they use to call them brick cakes.  Once I put chocolate frosting and my oldest daughter said, "mommy made a brick and put mud on top." I stayed up all night cooking, drinking and sniffing my cocaine.  After our dinner we all partied, bellies full and plenty of liquor.  The kids entertained.  They went upstairs and smoked their weed.  It was good times, but sad that the era was changing for me both my mom and grandmother were gone.  The cousin's girlfriend, I'm going to call her C, we became family.  We bonded because we were both orphans. Our children started calling each other cousins.  We would spend our holidays together, we both were estranged from our families, I guess because we were party girls.  It was C's brother that picked me up the other day in Access-A-Ride.  We would hang out with him but after we got high, C and her brother would always get into a fights.

We did develop some nice memories over the years.  Most of the teenagers that grew up with my kids remember the house fondly. During the holiday season they would all be in and out and enjoying my cooking cause bsides the brick cake, I could throw down. A lot of them couldn't believe that Mr. 23 and I were no longer together. 

When I worked for the home care that got closed down, I use to get a paid holiday for the day after thanksgiving and I would spend the weekend recuperating from the cooking and parting.  I thought it was natural despite that everyone else was up and about. I knew I would be tire so I always took the next day off from all my jobs I had after the homecare agency.

Last year, I went to my daughters for the week before Thanksgiving to I cleaned her house, shopped for the food and cooked and prepared the dinner all week.  I out did myself and couldn't hold my eyes open after.  My mate came over, after she told me she wasn't.  My son was there the first Thanksgiving he had with us in like ten years maybe more.  (he won't be there this year, he's in rehab and I know he's disappointed.) I was surprised when Mr. 23 year popped in.  Boy was I nervous.  I had my oldest daughters' father there, Mr. 23 years and my current lover. Everyone was cool, my mate even kissed Mr. 23 year when she left. But of course the green eye monster was there when I got home. This year I believe it will be quiet. I don't know if our dinner will be traditional or just a meal that we will share as a family.  I will share when I return home.

This holiday  I am thankful for the great doctors that have me patched up and made me healthy enough to spend the day with my children. I'm thankful for this life and for each day I wake to greet the world a new.
 I wish all my readers and followers of this blog, A Happy, Healthy and Safe Thanksgiving.  And God Bless you all.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Me Verse Lupus: This must be a flare

Me Verse Lupus: This must be a flare: "This is what they talk about when the body shuts down. I guess all my running around has hit me. I don't have any spoons today, my body is..."

This must be a flare

This is what they talk about when the body shuts down.  I guess all my running around has hit me.  I don't have any spoons today, my body is worn.  I got out the bed because my back is hurting.  I wanted to write on my new blog but I can't think. As I'm typing this I keep making errors, but I want to share with everyone what it feels like.  I typed for the 20 years that I worked, I don't look when I type, I type about 60 words a minute.  It has taken me 20 minutes to type up to this point. 

I want to crawl back in bed but like I said my back hurts and I don't want to wake my mate.  I have some Netflix and that's what I'll do for the day. I'm going to push myself to finish the birthday card so I can have it mailed tomorrow. It's going to be hard because my hands are swollen and my arms are heavy. I feel like I'm on some serious drugs. Well I am but I mean something like a narcotic.  My eyes are heavy and I don't want to go to the bathroom.  Just taking a few steps feels like it will take everything out of me.

It is 8:43 am I got out the bed at 8 am. I checked my emails, checked FB, played a game of freecell. I won on the first game which tells me mentally I'm thinking lucid.  Then I started writing here about 25 minutes ago.
I went to sleep about 9:30 pm, that's 10 and a half hours sleep and I feel like I been up all  night.

Doc called in a script of antibiotics and I'm taking the new drug for my PH. I hope it's not that but just a lupus flare.  I'm going to rest and will be back when I'm feeling better.