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My family

Embrace Today By: K. Wilhelmina Floria

Tears of happiness shall fall,
listen close for your destination call.

A river of tranquility flows through life.

Ride out the eye of the storm, pass the strife.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Nice to have a life for a few days

Woke up with one hell of a head ache.  Oh it hurts. Pressure is 144/89. Do you think not having one of my Pressure pills is causing this?  My mate paid for them last night. I'll be back on regiment today.  I have an hour before I can eat.  I have almond milk and Kashi Go Lean so that's breakfast, if I'm not tempted by something fattening and delicious. Friday I plan to get some blueberries, strawberries a pineapple and cottage cheese.  I'm going to try and snack on that at night when the cravings come.  I like that stuff, I just like chocolate, cake and candy better.

I go for my echo tomorrow. Then I can schedule my cauterization.  I was reassured by several folks on my online support group, that it's not that bad and that I'll feel better.  I really want to know what it feels like to feel good again. I was told I would feel better after I had my hysterectomy, three years later and I'm still waiting.

Tomorrow evening I'm going to the S.L.E  Lupus Fountation 2nd seminar for this year, I called and got the address closest to the auditorium. I hope I don't have to walk any distance.  My mate asked why I go to these things.  I go to learn about the different subjects, to learn what's new, to socialize with people who know what I'm going through.  To fucking get out the house.  She goes to her rehearsals three times a week and the nights she doesn't have rehearsals she goes to the bar.  Where am I? Socializing on FB, Twitter or writing this blog.  Once and a while someone talks back to me. Once in a while I might get a phone call.  My sister is having some difficulties right now so I don't get to talk to her too much right now.  My friends what few that still talk to me are busy with their lives.  I don't have anything to talk about anyway. My children stress me.  They have their problems and issues of their own and I can't help them cause I can't even help myself.  So I go to these seminars to feel alive for a few couple of hours.

I really enjoyed my grandchildren yesterday.  I asked them why they were home from school and they didn't know, so I told them.  I hope they don't get in trouble in school. I just told them that Columbus discovered a new world and new people.  Then took over the country and put the inhabitants on reservations.  I didn't lie, right?  We ended up talking about slavery, which opened the door for me to tell them that slaves weren't allowed to learn to read and write and how lucky they were to go to school and learn.  I told them they should work real hard in school.  I made cards out of loose leaf paper and put words on it and we played the memory game.  They could see through the paper, and were cheating. I stopped the game so we could color the back. I was surprised that they knew all the words I used.  Then we read about Shaka Zulu.  They found it interesting.  They ate, watched TV and were pretty good until their grandfather came in.  Of course he bitched about the house being a mess. Sorry.

So I'll be busy tomorrow. On Thursday afternoon I meet my new Rhuemotologist. I'll get back to my life story in a few days.

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Embrace today.