Just a regular day to speak of

I was lazy yesterday. I layed around all day watching movies.  I slept all night, well I did get up several times to go to the bathroom and I'm up this morning at 6 am.  I could have continue to sleep, but I'm going to see new pulmonary doctor.  Oh boy here we go again.  The thing this time is, I'm sure he's going to say he doesn't take my insurance.  He was on the list of doctors 2 weeks ago but wasn't on there on Saturday.  So I'll be there before 11am and I'll be waiting until 1 pm for my ride back home. I'm taking my nook and ipod to stay busy.  And guess what it's one of my favorite days, rain, hard rain and I have to go out. I do so love the rain, especially fall rain, it has a chill in the air that makes curling up in bed so comforting.  But I need to go out.

I said no more crying, whining or feeling sorry for myself.  I was in that mood on Saturday.  I cried all day long, all you had to do was say boo. That doctor put me in that mood,  having to wait another month and half to before he would even schedule the heart cauterization.  This delay will cause the pulmonary hypertension to progress and cause more damage to my lungs.  I was feeling tired, tired of fighting, tired of hoping for a miracle.  I was having that feeling of just wanting to hide in my sleep and dream where I can live a normal life, only my dreams are anything but normal.  I see all my family in my dreams, my mother, grandmother, brother and different aunts and uncles who have left this earth long ago come to visit. And all kinds of crazy things go on.  Right now I can't even remember one.

I guess I need to do something. Get out and see people, talk to some one about something other then my health. 

I know I left my pass story with Mr. 23 years up in the air.  When I come home this evening I'll write some more.  Time to shower and dress for this appointment.