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My family

Embrace Today By: K. Wilhelmina Floria

Tears of happiness shall fall,
listen close for your destination call.

A river of tranquility flows through life.

Ride out the eye of the storm, pass the strife.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Just another update in my life.

Eight days to fix the desktop. Lost my files, there was a short story and an article I was writing.  The article was good, I don't know if I can duplicate it. With Lupus fog and all.  I started to print it, but said why waste trees.  Another thing I lost are the pictures my cousin had on FB that I copied into my documents, she doesn't like going on FB and I hate to ask her to come back on again. Well this shouldn't happen again, I have an external drive, that I was putting off getting.

I'm doing good with my eating habits.  I lost already but I won't disclose that information yet. My goal is to be under three hundred pounds by next month when I see all the doctors again. I've been exercising a lot of will power.  I ate a few little chocolate Santa Clauses and a handful of lightly salted potato chips. I had four ox tails last night and a sandwich this morning. The only reason I had the sandwich was because I had to go to the doctor and I can't eat two hours after I take my cellcept.  I considered taking a bowl with cereal and a bottle with milk, but thought that would be awkward to eat with out a table. When I came home I ate a salad with some chicken breast. I'm doing good. My mate, she shares her negative opinions. But I ignore her, she really doesn't know any better. I will prove her wrong. I figured if I could lose fifteen pounds a month, by this time next year I would  have lost one hundred and eighty pounds. If I do that I will be one hundred and thirty four pounds. Could you imagine? I haven't weighed that since I was, shit, I don't remember when. The doctors just want me to lose one hundred and fifty pounds. I do remember being a buck fifty in my mid twenties. I quit smoking two years and two months ago, that took will power. I can do this. I really can.

I have gotten on the exercise bike twice, one morning my mate got up and tried to put music on for me to exercise by. But five minutes is all I can do for now. I did my own style of aerobics on three of the steps.  I will only exercise on the days I stay home, on the days I go out just climbing up and down the Access-A-Ride bus, and walking down the halls to the doctors offices lugging that oxygen tank that weighs more then some damn ten pounds like they advertised.  Today I had them drop me off at Walgreen's to put my prescription in. I walked to the bus stop and walked home form the bus stop.  So that was my exercise for the day. I am tired, drained. I have some birthday cards to make, but I'll do them in the morning.  I brought a perm, I wanted to do that but I'll wait until the weekend I guess.  I have appointments Thursday, and Friday I probably will be out the house about 5 am for my appointment. Oh yea I started working on my family newsletter and lost that when I got the virus in the computer.  I hope I remember the info, stupid forgot to write it down.

I mentioned in my last blog that I have what they call APS, where I'm prone to clot.  The Rhuematologist wants to see what the Cardiologist wants to do and the Cardiologist discussed with the Pulmonalogist, who  is sending me for a V/G scan, I forget what it's called but it's to see how the air is circulating in my lungs.  If there is a problem then they will put me on blood thinners.  About the PH he says I'm in stage two, there are four stages. He says there are several ways to treat PH,  he's opted to try oral medication.  I'll be taking Viagra. Hummm! Wonder if I'll get an erection! I'm already horny, I hope it doesn't make me crazy. Seriously the side effects are dizziness and vision changes.  This is going to be difficult to determine, since I'm already getting dizzy and having vision problems.

I had to go back and see the Family doctor and give more blood and urine.  I don't know what the problem is and I really don't want to know.  I have enough bull shit to deal with.

I don't know what my kids are planing to do for Thanksgiving. Neither of them has said anything to me. I cooked last year and it took a lot out of me.  So I didn't offer and besides I don't have the cash to help buy the food.  I also have an appointment on the Wednesday before.  All is well I don't need the food temptation anyway.

My medicare card came in the mail yesterday.  It starts in March.  I can't understand that shit.  I got to call them and try to figure it out.  I'm going to need a supplement insurance, I got to find out how much that's going to cost and which ones my doctors take. If I don't have additional insurance it's gonna cost 20% everytime I go to the doctor, after the $157 deductible.  I just can't win for losing. Well it's in Gods hands.

Now that I have the desktop back I can dedicate myself to my blog again and tell the rest of my story with Mr. 23 years.  I just want to mention that I did have some affairs while we lived in Far Rockaway.  I had a mechanic that worked on my car, I brought the parts and I paid for the labor with my ass.  Sometimes he even took me to dinner or the movies. In fact he wanted to take me and the kids to Trinidad and live on a farm where he could have me all to himself.  Mr. 23 always thought something was going on, he would try to catch him when my car wasn't working.  When I didn't have a car I had a cab driver that use to pick me up and I paid my fare again with my ass.  I knew what I was doing and there really isn't any excuse like if a Mr. 23 years was doing what he was suppose to I wouldn't have had to resort to that, but I did. That was just the beginning I will tell about all my nasty affairs after we moved from the projects into my mothers' house.

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Embrace today.