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Embrace Today By: K. Wilhelmina Floria

Tears of happiness shall fall,
listen close for your destination call.

A river of tranquility flows through life.

Ride out the eye of the storm, pass the strife.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

No Christmas Spirit Here

I can't wait until Christmas is over.  I'm not really the spirit at all. I got my grand kids a few gifts, and trying to wrap them. I watched 2 Christmas movies, Scrooged with Bill Murray, but I'll watch that in August.  And some Hallmark movies with these 2 x friends who compete to win the best decorated house contest. It was silly.  I didn't get in the mood.  I think it's all the commercial shit about the holiday.  My inbox is full of ads, pop ups when I'm reading the news on msn. Bah humbug! I mean there's so much crazy shit going on in the world. War, babies are getting killed over what? Is it oil? Is it 911 retaliation? Are they still looking for weapons of mass destruction? Ah come on. Is it Gods' will? People are having a hard time paying rent because they can't find jobs.  Kids going to bed hungry, and going to school without coats.  Sick people who have no insurance and can't get the care they need, or if they do it's just enough to keep them going. It just takes away from the joy that Christmas is suppose to be about. You got people carjacking people, robbing people in the parking lots of malls. Push in robberies and rapes.  We live in a world of evil, so how can a spirit of love, peace and happiness shine on this season.  Parents who can't afford to give their children things, these children become angry, even if their parents explain why they couldn't get anything. Materialist wishes unfulfilled can cause these children to do bad things. I've gone through the motions, sending cards and wishing people joy but I'm not feeling it. Okay I don't have the spirit and I'm sorry if I put a damper on yours.

I went to see the Rheumatologist on Monday.  He tried to justify the other doctor.  He said she was concerned about my anti-coagulation. Okay, I'll play the game, because he said there is no question about whether I have lupus or not.  Still no decision on whether I should be on blood thinners or not.  However he did reduce the steroids, I'm down to 6mg.  Woohoo! I feel the change in my appetite.

The best part is he gave me pain killers and these patches that I can put on my body where there is pain.  My back has some problems. The drug addict in me likes the pain killers, but I will behave.  I don't have an addictive nature.

I saw the medical doctor yesterday. He reduced one of my blood pressure medications. At least we are all on the same page, reduce my medications.  About the blood thinners he referred me to a hematologist.  I'll go next month after my SSD check comes in. That's another thing. This Medicare open enrollment. My Medicare starts in March and I can't figure this stuff out.  One of my medications cost over $1000 a month. I have to reach $2000 and something before they reduce it. Now I'll reach that the first month but I won't be able to pay rent. Yes I pay rent, a phone bill and other little bills like my life insurance. I'm trying not to let it stress me. I just don't know what to do.  I know I need to call Medicare and talk to someone but I rather do it in person.  I'm waiting for a book I ordered it like 3 weeks ago, it's suppose to explain all this Medicare stuff but there's only a week left to make a choice.

This is what is going on in my life today. After being out all day two days in a row I am tired I just want to chillax.  Did I mention that on Monday I walked about five blocks home from the pharmacy.  My breathing was fine; it was my back that made it difficult.  I didn't try it again on Tuesday. Still ten pounds lighter not gaining or losing.
I'll get back to my life with the next writing.

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Embrace today.