My Thanksgivings

I'm feeling pretty good.  Still watching what I'm eating.  I had cereal this morning, my favorite Kashi Go Lean Shredded Wheat with the Almond Breeze milk. Can't wait for breakfast tomorrow.  Today my mate and I got up to walk with her friend, this was at 5 am.  Instead of the walk we ended up going to Path mark, I didn't use the scooter in the store as I always do.  My back was in pain, but I sucked it up and handled it.  Breathing was fine though.  When we got home that's when I had my cereal, and we went back to bed.  I took a nap, I've been napping all week.  I juiced some spinach, carrots and apples. Later my mate made me a lamb chop and warmed some cooked spinach. Now I'm eating some lightly salted chips. Later I will have some frozen grapes and maybe a pear or tangerine. I'm losing, can't really see it on the scale but I feel it.  My panties are loose and my tee shirts are hanging different.  My face looks thinner, but I discovered that when I Nair the hair off my face it looks chubbier. Another side affect of the steroids is your hair grows all over your face.

This is the first year in many years that I'm not cooking.  My oldest daughter is cooking, and she told me to come tomorrow and by the time I get there she should almost be done.  I told Access-A-Ride that I needed to be there by 11 am. I don't know if I'll be back Friday night or Saturday morning.

I wrote an article for my new blog, there's a link to it but in case you didn't see it here's one http://my2centsnotworthapenny.blogspot.com/ I want to get feedback on this one.  I hope is inspires feedback.

The last Thanksgiving before my mother died was at my sisters house in Jersey. All of us got together, My brothers' family and mine. We had a great time, my sister and her husband did most of the cooking. We tried to rent a video camera but they were all rented, but we did take pictures and all my mothers grandchildren took a picture with my moms.

My first Thanksgiving without her was with Mr. 23 years, his cousin, mother and his cousins' girlfriend who became a good friends of mine, even after she broke up with the cousin, of course my children and the cousin girlfriend's children.  I did all the cooking, I cooked the traditional meal that my family cooked.  Turkey, roast beef, (my family would cook ham, but we didn't eat pork so hense the roast). Mac and cheese of course, candy yams, sweet potato yams, stuffing, corn pudding, coleslaw, whole cranberries mixed with pineapples, mash potatoes, string beans, corn, (my family made turnips, mushrooms, and pearl onion but I don't care for them.) I made sweet potato pies and an apple pie.  I made a cake but back then I didn't put enough butter in the mix and they would come out hard, so they use to call them brick cakes.  Once I put chocolate frosting and my oldest daughter said, "mommy made a brick and put mud on top." I stayed up all night cooking, drinking and sniffing my cocaine.  After our dinner we all partied, bellies full and plenty of liquor.  The kids entertained.  They went upstairs and smoked their weed.  It was good times, but sad that the era was changing for me both my mom and grandmother were gone.  The cousin's girlfriend, I'm going to call her C, we became family.  We bonded because we were both orphans. Our children started calling each other cousins.  We would spend our holidays together, we both were estranged from our families, I guess because we were party girls.  It was C's brother that picked me up the other day in Access-A-Ride.  We would hang out with him but after we got high, C and her brother would always get into a fights.

We did develop some nice memories over the years.  Most of the teenagers that grew up with my kids remember the house fondly. During the holiday season they would all be in and out and enjoying my cooking cause bsides the brick cake, I could throw down. A lot of them couldn't believe that Mr. 23 and I were no longer together. 

When I worked for the home care that got closed down, I use to get a paid holiday for the day after thanksgiving and I would spend the weekend recuperating from the cooking and parting.  I thought it was natural despite that everyone else was up and about. I knew I would be tire so I always took the next day off from all my jobs I had after the homecare agency.

Last year, I went to my daughters for the week before Thanksgiving to I cleaned her house, shopped for the food and cooked and prepared the dinner all week.  I out did myself and couldn't hold my eyes open after.  My mate came over, after she told me she wasn't.  My son was there the first Thanksgiving he had with us in like ten years maybe more.  (he won't be there this year, he's in rehab and I know he's disappointed.) I was surprised when Mr. 23 year popped in.  Boy was I nervous.  I had my oldest daughters' father there, Mr. 23 years and my current lover. Everyone was cool, my mate even kissed Mr. 23 year when she left. But of course the green eye monster was there when I got home. This year I believe it will be quiet. I don't know if our dinner will be traditional or just a meal that we will share as a family.  I will share when I return home.

This holiday  I am thankful for the great doctors that have me patched up and made me healthy enough to spend the day with my children. I'm thankful for this life and for each day I wake to greet the world a new.
 I wish all my readers and followers of this blog, A Happy, Healthy and Safe Thanksgiving.  And God Bless you all.

This is what I've been up to.

Okay the people are all gone and the frig is full of food. Starch, mac & cheese, rice & peas, candie yams, stuffing, ham. Two pies, a pound cake and some red velvet cake.  It will be a few days before we finish it up.  When it's gone I will start this weight lost regiment. I am determined.

Tomorrow I go for the heart cauterization.  My mate is going with me, we are being picked up at 5:46 am. And the return pick up to home is at 4 pm.  I hope that I feel well enough to vote when we get back in the neighbor hood.

The dinner was Saturday. My mated family all showed up. As mention above the food was all good.  My oldest daughter showed up with her two children, my youngest daughter wouldn't come without her man so my other grandson wasn't there. My mate told me to tell her not to bring her man.  Other then that there was no drama.

My mates nephews' wife has pancaristitist, talking about there always being someone worst off then you.  She was in the hospital several times over the year and she still needs another surgery.  She has to watch what she eats very carefully and avoid all stress. Again I realize how bless I am listening to her health woes. My complaints are nothing, really.

The first photo is my right leg when the rash just started getting bad.

The second photo is my left leg as it is today, you can see the scars.  I used 'Palmers coco butter with vitamin E, the stiff one in the jar to fade the scaring.

The last picture is my right ankle as it looks today. My ankles broke out when I got sick in 2008. I didn't care about the scaring.

I had this rash on my leg before I left the projects and moved into the house.  I was using creams I got from the doctors and nothing was working. I always thought I had lupus but didn't know this was rash lupus. I only knew that I was affected by the sun, the only symptom I knew.  I recognized what my leg looks like now from the pictures of discoid lupus. This is the only picture I have of my leg, it  was over 17 years ago. Both legs had the rash in the same area. 

My home attendants told me that someone had put voodoo on me and had their family in Hatti, sending me all kinds of things to use on it.  I started rubbing it with leaves of Aloe Vera plants, and what that did was to cause pus to ooze out of them. I finally went to a doctor after I moved into my mothers' house.  I went to see my mothers' same doctor.  He sent me to the dermatologist.  He was the one who diagnosed me with a false positive syphilis. He saw two symptoms of lupus in me.  He knew my mother had lupus, but he still didn't have a clue. 

After the dermatologist tried different creams on me with no positive results she said she was going to do a biopsy but first she told me to try one more cream.  This one worked,  it has steroids in it,  so of course the rash began to go away.  She told me I had dermatitis.

 Doctors really need to be more aware of lupus.  I was about 34 then, I could of been monitored if one of the professionals had recognized lupus.  Actually I had three symptoms, I was allergic to sulfa. There's no telling if I would of stopped smoking, drinking and drugging but at least I would of known and the doctors would of known and could have treated me accordingly.  As I continue to tell my story I will tell the different symptoms I had. 

Mr. 23 years took care of me, he would cook, clean and wash clothes.  He would let me sleep all day.  Or let me lay down when I came in from work.  On Saturdays I would give the house a thorough cleaning.  Every room, kitchen, dinning room, living room, bathroom and my bed room. I would cook a big dinner on Sunday and shut down on Sunday night. I would push myself to go to work all week and at night would be too tired to do anything else.  We ate a lot of take out.

This just a glimpse. Details will follow in the days to come.  I'm tired I stayed in bed all day. I have my test tomorrow, I need to get something to eat then, shower and get some rest.  I have an appointment on Thursday and I'm thinking about going to Brooklyn to make posters for the Lupus walk on Sunday and on Monday I go to see the Rhuemotlogist.  I will try to do some posting in between.